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昨天单位开会,领导们的发言有如长江之水滔滔不绝

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  • 2021-07-23
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昨天单位开会,领导们的发言有如长江之水滔滔不绝,轮到我时,有一脑抽就说:该说的,补充的,表扬的,批评的,甚至建议措施和补救方法都说了,我还说个球……齐刷刷的眼镜都看着我,我顿时冷汗直流,正想如何补救时,下面叭叭叭的掌声响了起来……热烈经久不息……我……不凉也得凉了……

一个小孩站在铁匠铺旁边,看铁匠打铁!铁匠有些讨厌她,便拿出烧红的铁,凑到小孩面前吓唬他! 小孩眨了眨眼说:“你给我一块钱,我就敢舔一舔它!” 铁匠听后,马上拿出一块钱给了小女孩! 小孩接过钱用舌头舔了一下,放进兜里走了。

教授晚上把儿子放在婴儿车里推出去散步,路上遇见了一个老同学,他和人家神聊起来。两个多小时后,他自己回了家,一进家门还问妻子:儿子睡了吗?哈哈!

坐车回老家,媳妇看手机上的电视剧,儿子跟着看一会,问我小娘是啥,我说是小老婆。他又问那大老婆愿意啊?我笑了:“那时候,男人说了算,不愿意又能咋的?”儿子一拍手:“爸,上次去你公司,邱阿姨对你挺好的,对我也好,让她做你小老婆呗?”我还来不及说邱阿姨已经五十多岁了,就被媳妇一巴掌把脑袋扇到方便面碗里……

一个女孩失恋了,坐在公园的长椅上失声痛哭。一单身男子走到她面前问道:“你怎么了?需要帮忙吗?”女孩抬起头,边哭边回答说:“我失恋了。”男子看到了女孩的长相,于是说道:“对不起,这事我帮不了你,我媳妇还在家等我吃饭,我先走了......”

早上想睡个懒觉,老婆让我起床,去隔壁房间把小姨子叫醒。我懒懒的说道:“哪有姐夫大早上跑小姨子房间的?传出去多难听,我不去!” 老婆一脚踹过来,骂道:“少废话,赶紧去,帮她把衣服穿上,吃了早饭后送她去幼儿园。”

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